Human words will forever remain inadequate in my attempts to give the Lord Jesus Christ proper praise, honor, adoration, awe, thanks, and glory for His mighty ability, unending love, and for His performance in making the impossible become possible in my life. To Sis. Agnes Yandris, who first suggested, and encouraged me to start Alpha Ministries, and who founded the Apostolic Tabernacle in Merced 50 years ago with her husband, Elder Bill Yandris, I thank-you for your unprejudiced, consistent, unwavering, godly love for my soul.

For 16 years, after being baptized in Jesus Mighty Name, and being filled with the Holy Ghost, and while I faithfully served, and lived for the Lord with a solid commitment,I struggled with unwanted, unresolved homosexual feelings. No amount of praying, fasting or consecration diminished or removed the same sex attractions I wrestled with, and had been aware of since my puberty years. In fact, the longer I wrestled with the feelings, pushing them down, pushing them aside, pretending they weren't there, the stronger and more real the feelings became. Unable to find relief and release from the tormenting struggle, I slipped away from church, the last thing I truly wanted, or thought I'd ever do. I never made a conscious or deliberate decision to walk away from God or the church because of a lack of love for both. I literally wept my way out of church, feeling as if I was emotionally bleeding to death inside. I was completely, utterly, and absolutely devastated that my established walk with God had become shattered and torn apart due to my unsuccessful attempts to find freedom from my homosexual orientation.

Why, and how could this happen to a dedicated born-again child of God? As I look back, it now seems so clear. Genuine resolution of ANY issue, whether it be homosexuality or not, NEVER comes to pass by denial, repression, suppression, avoidance, or by wearing a mask.Until the ROOT CAUSES of the problem are honestly addressed, dealt with, and resolved, the symptoms of the problem will remain. In the majority of cases,homosexuality is a symptom of inner woundedness that the human eye can not see. While away from church, and with the Lord's help, patience, and guidance, I found success in admitting, facing, and working through the painful root causes of my homosexual identity. The final stage of my journey, and the ultimate resolution of the causes of my homosexual development came to be when the Lord powerfully drew my attention to 3 scriptures in His word, and revealed His truth regarding them to me. Genesis 1:27, Revelation 22:13, and Hebrews 13:8. These 3 scriptures are Alpha Ministries biblical foundation of establishment. The relief and freedom I have come to experience from a homosexual orientation is genuine. However, this change did not happen overnight, and it did not come easily. It has not been a "quick fix" solution, or an "instananeous deliverance". Instead, the Lord led me through a progressive process of healing in my core being of deep woundedness, and brokeness.

Because we live in such a fast paced world with fast food, fast cars, fast money, fast gratification, we also hope and expect recovery from pain to be "fast". "Unfortunately, recovery, and healing of any wound is usually a process, unless, of course, the Lord heal's instantaneously." The deeper the wound, the greater the time it takes to heal. A broken bone can heal in 6 weeks. A scratch takes a few days to heal. Broken people, and broken hearts take longer. This process of time does not underestimate,or negate the mighty power of God's ability. Just as a physical wound needs attention, treatment, time, and the Lord's touch in order to reach a state of wholeness, the same is true with inner woundedness. To deny this principle is unrealistic.It is a simple, proven fact of life that individuals with inner trauma either take the time to resolve their pain, or they are destined to live painful lives.

It is Alpha Ministries objective, and mission to proclaim that God truly does have a pathway out of unwanted homosexuality. Alpha Ministries is part of a powerful church where we welcome you to come and be ministered to with God's unprejudiced love, and unfailing compassion. Please be encouraged, whoever you are. God, in His abundant grace, and mercy, sees your pain. He hears your cry. He knows your heart where no one else can see. He is the God of all comfort. He came to heal the broken-hearted, and to set at liberty them that are bruised. Don't give up. He is able. There are answers. Change is possible. Discover how. Sincerely, In Jesus Mighty Name, Sis. Cindy Mayo

I enrolled in Merced College Nursing Program in 1976 where I met Cindy Mayo who is the Director of Alpha Ministries. We became study partners for two years in the nursing program, and at that time I did not know or suspect that she struggled with homosexuality. During this time she began to witness to me about the Lord. God began to deal with me, and I yielded to the amazing, wonderful power of the Holy Ghost! I was filled with joy unspeakable, and was also baptized in Jesus Name. As time went on we continued our lives with God, going our seperate ways. Cindy transferred to another UPC church in Modesto, and consequently we lost contact with each other. After 20 years of not seeing each other, the Lord directed Cindy back to the Apostolic Tabernacle in Merced.

During our time of seperation, God was doing a work in my heart towards people who struggle with homosexuality. I began to witness to some of them, and started bringing them to church. These were good people on my job, friends of my friends, and yes, even church people. Some were UPC church people. My passion to help wounded souls led me on a search for answers. I have taken college courses in my efforts to become more educated in understanding how an individual, through trauma, and abuse, becomes dysfunctional, and self-destructive. This is why I am a part of Alpha Ministries. To help broken people find wholeness in our Lord Jesus, who forgives ALL sin. May the Lord richly bless you. Sis. Pat Harris Co-Director, Alpha Ministries.